TKID4 picks a fine day to evangelize for the "Left Behind!" series, as today marks the 10th anniversary of the first book's publishing and the release of a new addition to the series. I too am curious about the concept of coworkers, fellow bus riders, and a minute portion of my favorite dive bar's denizens vanishing and ascending into heaven. If the 70 million "Left Behind!" readers vacated the premises, this would indeed be a better planet. But still, TKID3 wonders if getting into this heaven thing would be worth some repentance. Seriously. If the big party in the sky is going to be like one of those Promise Keeper rallies, a million mildly-obese guys crying and playing grab-ass, you can count this kid out. But, if we're talking pina coladas all day long, football on the tube and access to Euro-porn, I'd be willing to clean up my act.
With that in mind, I tracked down the "Left Behind!" website (www.leftbehind.com) to see what it takes to get beamed-up to heaven. Unfortunately, it seemed to involve chanting some sort of bible stuff, and TKID3's adult ADD procluded further reading. However, I was struck by the intriguing "military series" of "Left Behind!" books. What's up with all that? Are Navy Seal tuff guys more Godly than the rest of us? Those guys get to party in heaven because they shoot shit up in Central Asia? That hardly sounds fair. After all, if what Gen. Mattis says is true, that combat stuff is loads of fun. Just because TKID3 is too much of a sissy to get through basic training, he doesn't get to party with the virgins in heaven? Cool. I see how it is. Reminds me of high school.
