Approximately 80 years after the Scopes monkey trial, the battle over evolution seems to be reaching a new climax. The Washington Post reports that 19 states are considering laws to question the science behind evolution; and that's probably just the beginning of a bigger tussle.
According to some of evolution's savvier critics, the goal isn't to push alternate theories that the world was created in six days; or that Zul, the High Priest of Gozer, birthed the Earth in a sultry union with the Minotaur of Xenon; or the murky idea of "intelligent design." Rather, the current plan is to cast doubt on evolution itself, proclaiming that "evolution is a theory, not a fact." This school of thought holds that there are "gaps" and flaws in evolution, and that the entire theory is nothing more than a conjecture - like the hypothesis that select people will soon be teleported up to heaven for the rapture.
These arguments make TKID5 feel a whole hell of a lot better about that D+ he landed in high school biology. I thought all that junk about strands of DNA, natural selection and recessive genes sounded suspicious. Seriously, I thought, how could anyone compare me and my posse to a group of chimps? There's just no comparison, although that recent study about chimps foregoing food to look at pictures of female chimps' asses was a tad disturbing. If only TKID5 could've leaned on the Word of The Creator instead of memorizing all that shiite about genes, he might have been able to follow his dream of being a mad scientist.
Bygones. The Post's article tried to track down the motives of the intelligent design crew's biggest funders and political supporters. These quotes warmed TKID5's heart:
The battle of evolution is part of the quest of "the total integration of biblical law into our lives." - Howard Ahmanson Jr., a major funder of the Discovery Institute, an intelligent design front.
"The strategy this time is not to go for the whole enchilada. We're trying to be a little more subtle ... If you believe God created that baby, it makes it a whole lot harder to get rid of that baby. If you can cause enough doubt on evolution, liberalism will die." - Terry Fox, prominent evolution critic and pastor of the largest Southern Baptist Church in the Midwest.
Now we're talking! I wonder, do they teach evolution in Iran, Saudi Arabia or in those Pakistani religious schools? I bet budding scientists get a great education in those places.
