Newsflash: It was announced today by our trusted leaders in the Nation's Crapitol that we didn't find any WMD's in Iraq. Also, Hussein didn't have them since 1991, nor did he have the capability to manufacture them. I know what you are saying, "But he had aluminum tubes." So does ACE Hardware.
The story of the day is WMD related. Apparently British Intelligence, specifically MI6 has "hired a quality control watchdog to safeguard the quality of its intelligence after criticisms about information supplied ahead of the war in Iraq."
The Brits have hired "A businessman with management experience....to check the agency's overall operations."
After hearing this story, my visions of British Intelligence have gone down the toilet. Can you imagine one of these number crunching geeks walking up to James Bond and saying "You know James, you may want to consider utilizing a prophylactic the next time you ass bang a Thai secret agent, due the high incident rate of AIDS in that part of the world, and the possibility that you could suffer a reduction in manhours due to illness were you to contract such a dreaded disease."
I think I might make a cop-buddy movie starring James Bond as a secret agent and Rhys-Jones-Smythe Templeton as his accountant sidekick monitoring his every move.
Scene: Kiev, midnight
Bond has just seduced the Prime Minister's wife, and having been successful, deftly removed a small packet of microfilm from her anal sphincter. Templeton joins the action to examine the packet.
Templeton: James, I don't trust the authenticity of this evidence.
Bond: Pal, I just pulled this out of that old bird's arse hole. I think its reliable.
Templeton: Better safe than sorry James. By the way, do you have that expense report filled out yet? Q is really after me about your tardiness.
KGB officers arrive and open fire.
Bond: Templeton you twat get out of my way, I need a clear shot. Flag down that cab, we need to get out of here.
Templeton: James, I don't have cab voucher, let's take the public tram....
-end-
