Following the critical success of my first action packed major motion picture screenplay, I was asked to write a follow-up to the block buster hit, "Bond and Templeton." Well here is a scene from that sequel, "Bond and Templeton Strike Back Against Terrrrrists."
Scene: Generic Middle Eastern City
A man rests atop a minaret at dusk, leading the call to prayer. Meanwhile, down below, Bond is engaged in a high stakes game of intrigue as he attempts to trade a 2,000 lb bail of hashish for a truck load of Stinger Missiles.
Bond: Well, here it is, all 2,000 lbs., minus a little bit I had to "dispose of" on the way down here, if you know what I mean. Right fellas? Eh??
Abu-Simbal: Right James, hahaha, "dispose of." That's a good one. You are a man of humor. I can trust you.
Templeton rushes into the dank cellar with an ear piece dangling from his collar and a slide rule at his side.
Templeton: James. What are you saying. You..you...you actually consumed some of this evidence, which I might add is property of Her Majesty's Government.
Abu-Simbal: Pulling out a gun. James. Who in the name of Kareem Abdul Ali is this? Kill them. Kill them both.
Bond: Templeton you little shit. Now we're done for.
Templeton: Consumption of narcotics is a violation of Section 12.24(a) of Her Majesty's Criminal Code, as well as a Departmental Infraction and dare I say against the rules and regulation found within Section 12, para. 3 of the employee handbook which you did sign. At least, you gave me your word you signed. Oh god James, tell me you signed the handbook.
Abu-Simbal: For the love of Ali Haji Sheik, James how do you put up with this? Men, lower your guns. We will fight another day.
Simbal and his men begin to withdraw.
Templeton: Really James. You disappoint me. I suppose if you forgot to sign the handbook you also forgot to tell Mr. Simbal here that we have been recording this whole affair and will be promptly turning over the transcripts to Price Waterhouse Coopers.
Abu-Simbal: Now you may kill them....
