The Army is preparing to send 18 remote-controlled robotic warriors to fight in Iraq beginning in April.
Named SWORDS, short for Special Weapons Observation Reconnaissance Detection Systems, the robots will be the first multi-purpose robots employed in the desert since C3PO.
Military officials stated at the unveiling that these robots are much different from their human counterparts. "They don’t need to be trained, fed or clothed. They can be boxed up and warehoused between wars. They never complain. And there are no letters to write home if they meet their demise in battle," stated Staff Sgt. Charles Colson. Secretary of Defense Don Rumsfeld seconded the statement. "I'm sick of having my name automatically inscribed on generic condolence letters to human troops. Now the only ones I will have to write would be to the parents of HAL, Robocop or the Terminator."
Officials stressed that these robots were not "autonomous killer robots of science fiction" and only discharged weapons when its autonomous killer human operator presses a button after identifying a target on video shot by the robot’s cameras.
A unit of SWORDS were recently displayed at the headquarters of the cable news station CNBC. The robots can operate from 1 to 4 hours at a time, depending on the mission. However, the units are prone to overheating, as occurred at the demonstration. After several hours of display, one particular unit attempted to copulate with an office copier while screaming, "Error...error."
