First Lady and Commediane in Chief Laura Bush got down and dirty at a formal dinner party last weekend. Thanks to material from a cadre of White House speechwriters, she unleashed a torrent of barbs at GWB, calling him Mr. Excitement in one breath and then claiming he sexually groped a horse's penis in another.
The reclusive Laura let her conservative hair down as she described a fictitious visit to Chippendales she, Lynne Cheney, and Justices O'Connor and Ginsburg made. While several conversative guests were upset at the sexual innuendos and subtle disrespect for G-Dubs, most had a good laugh.
Mrs. Bush's set lasted several minutes, but was cut short due to time constraints. TKID4 obtained the drafts for the remaining jokes Laura was going to tell but didn't. Here are a few of the zingers.
"George is not so bright. He thought Iraq had stockpile of weapons of mass destruction. Then he saw the intelligence which indicated that they didn't. But the dumbass just went in and attacked anyways. (PAUSE) Killed thousands of them towelheads too."
"You might think being First Lady is a barrel of laughs. Well let me tell you, it's not as funny as watching George try to destroy our environment acre by acre. (PAUSE) I call him "The Salesman" because he's determined to sell-out our children's future to the highest bidder."
"Knock knock...."
(AUDIENCE RESPONSE) "Who's There"
"Human Rights Violations"
(AUDIENCE RESPONSE) "Human Rights Violations Who"
"George done think only Christians are humans. That's why he ordered the Fallujah Holocaust."
"Did you hear the one about George executing a woman in Texas for killing her abusive husband? (PAUSE) Her name was Betty Lou Beets. He barbequed her ass, even though she obviously suffered from abusive spouse syndrome."
