Creationism proponents took one step backward today as they were forced to concede that God did not create MAN in his image, but rather, MOST MEN. This startling retraction from earlier Biblical dogma was prompted by the recent uncovery of one Brian Peppers. Peppers, a nice guy from Ohio, seems to be more of a mutant than a man. Yet, according to Evolutionists Inc., Brian is most definitely a man. His pedigree is well documented here. Evolutionists spokesman Raymond Fitzchandler challenged Kansas State Board of Education members at a town hall meeting last Wednesday night with photos of Mr. Peppers. He stated to the panel, "Do you think God looks like this guy? I tell you what, if I was shown a picture of this dude in Sunday School back in the day and told he was the Almighty, I would have jumped out the window. My God is white with a big beard and flowing robes, not some C.H.U.D."
Seth Nightingale, spokesman for Creationismists.Org, a think tank organization based in St. Louis that has provided much needed support to several Kansas Education Board officials, refuted Fitzchandler. "Our opponents are assuming that Mr. Peppers really is a man. Maybe he isn't. Maybe he's the dreaded Puerto Rican Chupacabra monster. I don't know. What I do know is if he is designated a man, he belongs to that group of sub-humans that were not created in God's own image."
TKID4 is currently researching various Biblical tomes for references of monkeys and apes. So far he hasn't come up with one word about our simian cousins. Mostly its just talk about walking around in a desert. As far as TKID4 is concerned, that's one point for creationists.
