At this moment, our tax dollars are causing a spacecraft to speed towards earth carrying several ounces of "comet dust." It's destination is a Utah desert floor, time of impact, early Sunday.
The Stardust spacecraft took off from earth during the Clinton Administration and has spent its formative years collecting dust and carbon-based samples whilst plunging though the tails of comets.
According to our friends at CNN, "If all goes as planned, Stardust will release the 100-lb. capsule carrying the samples at 1 a.m. ET on Sunday. It would enter Earth's atmosphere about four hours later and parachute to the ground in Utah at 5:12 a.m. ET."
On the other hand, if some things don't go according to plan, you might wind up with a spacecraft in your backyard or worse yet, an Andromeda Strain type dried comet jizz dusting your Taos rooftop.
Granted, comet dust is not on my list of allergies at the moment, but why risk bringing a potentially deadly strain of space clap to mother earth? Science at times enjoys certain missteps which cross the line between the search for knowledge and impending doom. A good example would be the medical supply company that included among its teaching sample kits which it distributed around the globe a vial of Bubonic Plague.
I may be chicken little in this instance, but then again, I was against the importation of moon rocks, and as a very reliable source has disclosed to me, Apollo 14's cargo of critter-laden pumace almost cost man his seat of dominance on this blue planet.
Jan 12, 2006
Jan 9, 2006
Troop Strength
The liberal news media today reported that Paul Bremer, while serving as head of the provisional government in Iraq, asked Donald Rumsfeld to triple the amount of troops stationed in Iraq -- from 145,000 to over 500,000.
Although there are those who will gleefully see news of the squabble as evidence of a poorly-run war, TKID4 begs to differ. First of all, anyone touting such a theory would sit idly by as the terrorists and, perhaps, Cubans, parachute down to our beloved country, take over high schools, and machine gun innocent math teachers. Not us at TKid's blog. We will stand firm.
Besides, look at the two parties behind this debate. The qualifications of one, Bremer (or, rather, Louis Paul Bremer III), seem to revolve his fluency in French and his having attended a university in Gay Paris -- that's in France. Louis Paul the Third is a pencil-neck geek.
On the other hand, Rummy, he of the flinty gaze and chiseled features, is a former Naval Aviator. In a word: bad-ass.
Although there are those who will gleefully see news of the squabble as evidence of a poorly-run war, TKID4 begs to differ. First of all, anyone touting such a theory would sit idly by as the terrorists and, perhaps, Cubans, parachute down to our beloved country, take over high schools, and machine gun innocent math teachers. Not us at TKid's blog. We will stand firm.
Besides, look at the two parties behind this debate. The qualifications of one, Bremer (or, rather, Louis Paul Bremer III), seem to revolve his fluency in French and his having attended a university in Gay Paris -- that's in France. Louis Paul the Third is a pencil-neck geek.
On the other hand, Rummy, he of the flinty gaze and chiseled features, is a former Naval Aviator. In a word: bad-ass.
Jan 4, 2006
Corporate Sponsorship
TKID7 is happy to report that his six month long sales trip throughout SE Asia is paying off. We have entered final contractual negotiations with a confidential party to sponsor the Tkid's Blog in exchange for our site linking to http://www.keepdelayfree.com.
In other news, I am just now getting filled in on the world's events, as the Russian trawler I called home during my trip lacked any means of communication other than my Cingular wireless phone. Nothing much has changed, except that I am surprised to see Ohio Rep. Bob Ney is in some sort of scandal involving bribes and such. I can remember answering his call to arms last year and boycotting all things French. I am still at it too, which really cost me on my trip. My trawler's maps were about 50 years old, and when we encountered the coastline of French Indochine, I was forced to ride out the night in a dingy whilst my compadres lived it up on shore, lest I betray the oath I swore to Ney. Later that week, I was arrested when Burmese officials discovered I was sleeping on 500 pounds of China White. I was released soon after however, no doubt due to the benevolence of my sponsor, David LoPan, CEO of the Wing Kong Exchange. In exchange, I have sworn to continue my work on Tkid's Blog. And to that end, I must leave for now, and read six months worth of US Weekly's and examine some new type of internet phenomenon called "Myspace."
In other news, I am just now getting filled in on the world's events, as the Russian trawler I called home during my trip lacked any means of communication other than my Cingular wireless phone. Nothing much has changed, except that I am surprised to see Ohio Rep. Bob Ney is in some sort of scandal involving bribes and such. I can remember answering his call to arms last year and boycotting all things French. I am still at it too, which really cost me on my trip. My trawler's maps were about 50 years old, and when we encountered the coastline of French Indochine, I was forced to ride out the night in a dingy whilst my compadres lived it up on shore, lest I betray the oath I swore to Ney. Later that week, I was arrested when Burmese officials discovered I was sleeping on 500 pounds of China White. I was released soon after however, no doubt due to the benevolence of my sponsor, David LoPan, CEO of the Wing Kong Exchange. In exchange, I have sworn to continue my work on Tkid's Blog. And to that end, I must leave for now, and read six months worth of US Weekly's and examine some new type of internet phenomenon called "Myspace."
Dec 2, 2005
from the depths
greetings good readers. timothy ricketts here (a.k.a. kid 4). for many moons now my keyboard has been stilled, sittling idly as the cracker jack crumbs slowly fossilize between the keys. while my superiors (particularly company mystic david lopan) would rather i share with you a tale of my recent months that includes swashbuckling adventures in the name of global commerce, perhaps with a dash of mercenary bravery defending the american way, i can do no such thing. it just wouldn't be right. in truth, i've been to the bottom of an extremely deep bottle - many times over. however, as we all know, great things come for a true bender. although i have a constant ringing in my ears and pain in my liver region, i feel as if i've found great wisdom. i'd impart some of it here, but i'm too hungover to make the words come out.
let's face it people, without the leadership that could only be provided by the one-and-only tkid, this blog will flounder. so if you've seen him, in all of his radiant socal splendor, tell him we need him here. lead us, tkid. the blogosphere just isn't the same without you.
let's face it people, without the leadership that could only be provided by the one-and-only tkid, this blog will flounder. so if you've seen him, in all of his radiant socal splendor, tell him we need him here. lead us, tkid. the blogosphere just isn't the same without you.
Oct 11, 2005
Blond Bondshell
TKID4 here, back from an extended vacation exploring the finest spider holes Anbar province has to offer, thanks to a generous grant from the Kiegals Institute for Oriental Studies.
There's a new bond in town. James Bond, that is. Octagenerian Pierce Bro'ham has been replaced by a blond haired, blue eyed dashing metrosexual named Daniel something in the role of the world's most famous and syphillitic adled spy. The studios appear to be moving the Bond character towards a softer, more gentle world, where the secret agent is more adept at selecting velvet curtains than tunneling under iron ones. According to industry insiders, the former Bond Brosnan is upset at the manner in which studio execs notified him he was out. The Irish lothario whose four Bond film portrayals put $1.5 billion worth of Goldfinger's gold bullion into the pockets of Hollywood underwriters was apparently canned over the course of one brief phone call. Brosnan reflected on the call from his yacht positioned off the coast of Gibraltar:
"I was polishing my shoes, which are themselves spy shoe phones, and when the L.A. suits rang me, telling me I was finished, out, fired...that sort of business, I told them to 'toss off' and I hung up and went back to polishing. Later that evening I went out for a cafe' and was unexpectedly accused of sporting blackface, as the polish from my shoe phones had masked my complexion. Needless to say, I covered my faux-pas by quipping that I had just come from a nighttime raid of the fortress of Dr. Goldfeld, which was partially true. It was more of a nighttime raid of my pantry for a box of goldfish."
While Brosnan was planning on taking the Bond character to an edgier, darker place, screenwriters plan on placing the new modern Bond in quirky scenarios where the emotional side of the middle aged single male will be explored. Rumors abound of a Bond who enters therapy after being slowly lowered by a rope into a shark tank one too many times. And when 007 contracts Mata Hari's revenge afer a particularly dicey covert-op in Guatemala, he is comforted by Raoul, a London florist who knows what it's like to have been loved, but to never have loved another.
There's a new bond in town. James Bond, that is. Octagenerian Pierce Bro'ham has been replaced by a blond haired, blue eyed dashing metrosexual named Daniel something in the role of the world's most famous and syphillitic adled spy. The studios appear to be moving the Bond character towards a softer, more gentle world, where the secret agent is more adept at selecting velvet curtains than tunneling under iron ones. According to industry insiders, the former Bond Brosnan is upset at the manner in which studio execs notified him he was out. The Irish lothario whose four Bond film portrayals put $1.5 billion worth of Goldfinger's gold bullion into the pockets of Hollywood underwriters was apparently canned over the course of one brief phone call. Brosnan reflected on the call from his yacht positioned off the coast of Gibraltar:
"I was polishing my shoes, which are themselves spy shoe phones, and when the L.A. suits rang me, telling me I was finished, out, fired...that sort of business, I told them to 'toss off' and I hung up and went back to polishing. Later that evening I went out for a cafe' and was unexpectedly accused of sporting blackface, as the polish from my shoe phones had masked my complexion. Needless to say, I covered my faux-pas by quipping that I had just come from a nighttime raid of the fortress of Dr. Goldfeld, which was partially true. It was more of a nighttime raid of my pantry for a box of goldfish."
While Brosnan was planning on taking the Bond character to an edgier, darker place, screenwriters plan on placing the new modern Bond in quirky scenarios where the emotional side of the middle aged single male will be explored. Rumors abound of a Bond who enters therapy after being slowly lowered by a rope into a shark tank one too many times. And when 007 contracts Mata Hari's revenge afer a particularly dicey covert-op in Guatemala, he is comforted by Raoul, a London florist who knows what it's like to have been loved, but to never have loved another.
Oct 5, 2005
Up from the Ashes
It is alive. Many apologies to our countless hordes of readers, all of whom have been wondering: "where is TKID's Blog?" The answers to this question are myriad. The abridged (and security-cleared) answer, however, is that Kiegels Enterprises, Inc., the company under which TKID's is a wholly-owned subsidiary, was involved in a high-level scrap with the Malaysian government. You see, our friends in Kuala Lumpur wanted their piece of the pie. But David Lopan, CEO of Kiegels and company mystic, is not to be messed with. Let's just say the Malaysians came out holding the short straw.
During this brief but intense clash with a third-world government TKID's Blog's main office was forced to shut down. Then, after we'd prevailed, we were detained to cash in on some of the no-bid contracts to hose down and clean out New Orleans - working shoulder-to-shoulder with Cheney's Halliburton boys. One thing we noticed during all of this hurricane hullabaloo was President Bush's moving comments when he first touched down in Mississippi after the hurricane. A snippet follows below:
"Out of the rubbles of Trent Lott's house -- he's lost his entire house -- there's going to be a fantastic house. And I'm looking forward to sitting on the porch."
TID's Blog wants to do its part to correct this horrific act of God. Let's all work together to rebuild Trent's beachfront manse. To send your contribution to Kiegels Enterprises, which will help supervise construction at the site, please send your credit card donations to: david_lopan@hotmail.com
During this brief but intense clash with a third-world government TKID's Blog's main office was forced to shut down. Then, after we'd prevailed, we were detained to cash in on some of the no-bid contracts to hose down and clean out New Orleans - working shoulder-to-shoulder with Cheney's Halliburton boys. One thing we noticed during all of this hurricane hullabaloo was President Bush's moving comments when he first touched down in Mississippi after the hurricane. A snippet follows below:
"Out of the rubbles of Trent Lott's house -- he's lost his entire house -- there's going to be a fantastic house. And I'm looking forward to sitting on the porch."
TID's Blog wants to do its part to correct this horrific act of God. Let's all work together to rebuild Trent's beachfront manse. To send your contribution to Kiegels Enterprises, which will help supervise construction at the site, please send your credit card donations to: david_lopan@hotmail.com
Jul 6, 2005
Liberal Media Spanking
Today, in one of the clearest signs to date that freedom is on the march, a reporter from the America-hating New York Times was by federal marshals to an Alexandria jail, where she will serve time in the same facility as a famous suspected terrorist and other miscreants. Good riddance, we say.
The case has riled liberals and their pack of elite, effete spokespeople: the media. It began when a conservative columnist, Robert Novak, in an op-ed outed the CIA wife of a known Bush-hater. An investigation was begun into the illegal outing of the agent, with most speculation leading to the culprit being a Bush Adminstation official. Judith Miller of the NYTimes, who did not write about the agent but apparently learned her identity, refused to cooperate with the investigation and was today sent to jail by a federal judge.
The issue here is that the news media has become obvious opponents of this government. Anything that will make the media struggle to achieve its wrongheaded ends is good by me. Miller, the NYTimes and other mainstream media outlets are always trying to catch President Bush and other Republicans, who run all branches of our government, in some sort of perceived wrongdoing. Why don't they ask questions about all the good things Bush and Co. are accomplishing?
Here are a few examples of stories Miller could have written (that might have helped keep her out of jail):
* A feature article on all the Iraqis who love us.
* A story about the toughest medical procedure Sen. Bill Frist ever performed.
* An article in which Sen Rick Santorum's ranks his favorite saints.
* Or, in an story which the NYTimes could run (but won't) tomorrow, about how after a bike-riding President Bush crashed into a Scottish police officer, who was also on a bike, old Bush dressed the guy's wounds and bought him a Scottish Ale. What a guy. How's that for international coverage?
The fact is, only lawyers, doctors and clergy deserve confidentiality rights under the law. Everybody loves lawyers and priests. But reporters? Hell, they're priests of the dark art of stabbing America in the back.
The case has riled liberals and their pack of elite, effete spokespeople: the media. It began when a conservative columnist, Robert Novak, in an op-ed outed the CIA wife of a known Bush-hater. An investigation was begun into the illegal outing of the agent, with most speculation leading to the culprit being a Bush Adminstation official. Judith Miller of the NYTimes, who did not write about the agent but apparently learned her identity, refused to cooperate with the investigation and was today sent to jail by a federal judge.
The issue here is that the news media has become obvious opponents of this government. Anything that will make the media struggle to achieve its wrongheaded ends is good by me. Miller, the NYTimes and other mainstream media outlets are always trying to catch President Bush and other Republicans, who run all branches of our government, in some sort of perceived wrongdoing. Why don't they ask questions about all the good things Bush and Co. are accomplishing?
Here are a few examples of stories Miller could have written (that might have helped keep her out of jail):
* A feature article on all the Iraqis who love us.
* A story about the toughest medical procedure Sen. Bill Frist ever performed.
* An article in which Sen Rick Santorum's ranks his favorite saints.
* Or, in an story which the NYTimes could run (but won't) tomorrow, about how after a bike-riding President Bush crashed into a Scottish police officer, who was also on a bike, old Bush dressed the guy's wounds and bought him a Scottish Ale. What a guy. How's that for international coverage?
The fact is, only lawyers, doctors and clergy deserve confidentiality rights under the law. Everybody loves lawyers and priests. But reporters? Hell, they're priests of the dark art of stabbing America in the back.
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